12 ways to strengthen the love and attachment between you and your newborn
If you don’t feel an instant bond with your newborn, you’re not alone. According to the NCT, around a third of mums don’t experience immediate feelings of warmth and protection toward their newborn. The bond will come, so don’t worry. But as with other relationships, building an emotional connection with your baby may take time.
For dads, bonding tends to take a little longer. The relationship grows as your baby develops and begins to smile, laugh, and babble. By 6 months, most dads will have formed a strong bond with baby.
Here are 12 ways to help that bond along, for both mums and dads.
1. Have skin-to-skin contact
Skin-to-skin contact as soon as your baby is born is truly special. Your newborn will bond with you through touch and smell at this early stage, and being this close to you will help the process. Once baby is home you can pop baby onto your chest for a snuggle after a bath or nappy changing. The skin contact is soothing for both you and your baby.
2. Respond to your baby’s cries
It sounds obvious but responding to your baby’s cries is important in bonding and building trust. Crying is the way your newborn communicates, and they need you to respond.
3. Give baby plenty of cuddles
Don’t be afraid to shower your newborn in love, affection and plenty of cuddles. As if you need an excuse to pick your little one up and hold them close.
4. Bond while feeding
The intimate contact of feeding your baby teaches them that you’re a great source of care and comfort. This helps to build a bond of trust between you, especially as you start to learn when they’re hungry. If you’re breastfeeding and have expressed milk, Dad can feed baby with the bottle.
5. Maintain close eye contact
Whether you’re feeding, changing their nappy, or massaging your baby, try to maintain close eye contact. Your baby will soon lock eyes on yours; a truly precious moment.
6. Read and sing to baby
Babies can recognise familiar voices from inside the womb, so hearing your voice constantly once born will be a great comfort to them. Singing and reading to baby will be reassuring and a great opportunity to bond.
7. Carry baby in a sling or carrier
When it’s safe to do so, carrying baby in a sling or carrier means that they are close to you when you’re out and about – or even at home while you’re tackling housework. They can snuggle in to you or face out to see what you see, while also being closer to your voice and smell.
8. Sleep with baby close to you
The bonding with baby can continue through the night if you put their Moses basket or cot next to your bed. Being close to your voice, touch and smell will be a reassurance to them.
9. Smile and pull faces at baby
When baby’s eye contact begins to develop try holding them close, and smiling or pulling faces and playing peek-a-boo games. As well as getting a smile back, it won’t be long before baby begins to copy you.
10. Try baby massage
Relaxing and calming for both of you, the hands-on nature of baby massage allows you to bond through sensitive touch. Massage can also help your baby’s circulation, digestion and muscle tone.
11. Introduce sensory play
Explore touch, textures, shapes, lights and sounds with your baby for the first time. You can do this at home or in classes, and it’s a real joy to see your baby stimulated and excited by new discoveries.
12. Enjoy fun and bubbles at playtime
Bathtime is a great time to explore touch and textures with your baby. There’s plenty of skin-on-skin contact, too, which helps with the bonding process.
